2020 quarentine and how did it feel
Hello guys!!! It´s been a long time since the last time I uploaded some pictures. First of all, a very fellow deviant gave me 1 month Core Membership, and it´s great!!!! 
Now, I just want to talk about something I had been thinking about: year 2020 and quarantine. A before and after. Fortunately I haven't had Covid yet... But two years ago it seemed to be the worst nightmare ever had. At least, that's what media and governments wanted us to feel about that. I´ve never imagined spending almost 8 months at home until our president decreed a strict quarantine. Of course, that happened all over the world, and we could not be the exception. Ironically, a few days before that, our former Health Minister was confident that the virus would be too far away to reach us out.
I also didn´t believe that I would have to wear a mask to go outside, that I would have to apply for a permit to use public transport, and that hundreds of the places I used to go would remain closed for so long. I didn't even imagine it several years before.
Well, I was never very keen on socializing or having a bunch of friends. Lately, I just went out just for work or meeting my family. Even I always preferred more quiet activities, or staying at home on weekend afternoons. I also started to walk away from big groups. For the other hand, I still can't believe that before the quarantine I was even traveling abroad by myself and moving around the cities without a mask or worrying about being too close to other people in public places, like I always did in my country.
Anyway, when quarantine started, It didn´t matter that much to me. At first, the president said the quarantine would only last two weeks.. That´s why it didn´t matter, until the lockdown began to extend week by week. First weeks wasn´t a big deal. I used to enjoy staying at home watching Netflix or TV, playing with my tarot cards, learning languages on Duolingo or whatever. But then, I started to miss being outside, going to work, seeing my closest friends. I´ve been also waiting for so long to see my specific person and my very best friend again. Yes, I had got a very close friend, who I met on 2019. And watching economy, health and education going down in my country because of this, was something unbearable. We weren´t allow to bury our loved ones who passed away, many people lost their jobs, children hadn´t face-to-face classes for almost one year, even some people could use public transport without a permission only if they were essencial workers. Many injustices were also committed during this time. The government and a large part of the police abused their power with the excuse of the regulations imposed based on the presence of the virus.
After a very long time, some activities began to reactivate very, very, very slowly, over the last months of 2020, and the first months of 2021. My best friend started to date a guy who used to be insanelly jelaous of our friendship. So, he came between us and got me and my friend to argue, and we haven´t spoken anymore since that. I haven´t return to my former job again, but I´ve been working at new places.
Well, all I have to say about such experiences, is: perhaps this pandemic served to make some masks fall down, and revealed the true nature of many people, including who seemed to be our best friends. Also, may this pandemic is a reminder of how free we used to be in the past, and how we took it for granted. Maybe, it also will teach us to not take people or things for granted so easily. But for the oher hand, perhaps we haven´t understand it that way yet. I understand that humans are social beings. So, theorically, the human being is not designed to live alone and without contact with their peers, although it also depends on the temperament, personality and the way each person was raised, or whatever. Personally, I always was the hermit type, and many people around me still can´t understand it. But I have to admit I was affected by this pandemic more than I ever imagined, like some kind of rebound effect. Some things may never be the same again after this "cavemen´s quarantine", at least not before the current government changes. Who knows...
Now, I´m trying to recover myself. I also think that this pandemic helped my own spiritual growth. Maybe I´m still in hermit mode, trying to undestrand myself and taking in what's going on and what's been going on with me. I´m just like the High Priestess tarot card now. But my family may not understood it last year. I´m also taking some decissions, and recognizing several parts of my dark side (please don´t be afraid lol)
Do you play Daily Postcards?
It is called Daily Postcards, and it is available on Google Play Store.
Would you like to try it?
Back again
I want to tell you, after working hard during three months since my house was burglared, I could make a great trip
Anyway, I already had the tickets before that happened. Luckily, I could recover all the money I´ve been saving for it, with no problems, and also I could save money in the bank. But I didn´t want to tell anything before until I leave. I just want to share my happiness with all of you, because all those bad things that happened before, and after all the efforts I had to make even since last year, I had a great reward. Sorry for not telling this before, but, as many people say, don´t tell your plans to anyone until you can make them.
I could say they were the happiest three weeks I ever had
I´ve been to Madrid, Amsterdam and London. Even I could make some daytrips from such cities, to another interesting towns. And my old compact camera took plenty of pictures!!! (even I can´t still believe how could it survive to the robbery at my house).Yes, I'm truly happy for making such thing, but now I´m feeling a bit sad, nostalgic and even empty of being back home, at the same time. That´s the hardest part of every trip: when you have to return to your home, routine, reality, after spending such a great time. It still feels so weird. Even I felt like crying during the latest days of my trip. Oh boy, how could time go by so fast????
Now, Buenos Aires looks much different: it´s cold, rainy and cloudy since this morning, when I arrived. It´s a weird sensation. But at the same time I feel glad and satisfied because all the experiences I had, and all those memories I brought and I will always keep, so many stories to tell... That´s when you have such mixed feelings, and all you have to do is let the time go by and be patient, until you get used again...
Now, a few advices: first, NEVER keep money at home. Put it in the bank, or at least carry a little amount in your wallet everytime you have to go out. But never keep it at home. Even if you need some when you are in the street, you can extract it from an ATM. Or even hire a safe deposit service at the bank, or get a strongbox to keep your goods safe and sound at home. Then, never let anything to chance. Don't give anything for sure either, because life is so freaking full of surprises, and many of them can be awful. And the latest one: seize the moment!!!! And live the present!!! Try to not worry about anything, but yes, you always should to be careful, just enough.
Now, all that remains is get some rest and keep on going with work on these following days, doing massages at the hotels and working by my own. And stay tuned of all my next uploadings
Back to DA
I was out because my house were burglared about one month ago, and they took almost everything away, including money, my camera, my laptop and even my PSP!!!! It was the worst and most awful experience I ever been to, my family and I were so distressed because of that.
I really regret what had happened, it really pisses me off!!!
Now, I am writing from my dad´s new computer. About my camera, I´m going to use my old Olympus again, until I can buy another DSLR like the one I had.
It´s so disgusting, you have to work a lot and make a great effort to get all those things you wish, because you´re not a f... millonaire, and then, just a pack of stupid losers gets into your home and take it all away so easily!!!! I wish I could see them all burning in hell!!!!!!
But, at least we´re fine, we´re still alive and safe and sound. But I wish it never happened...
Well, Heurchon I just want to let you know about what happened in my house, and I want to tell you that I´m fine. I´m still waiting for your new note!!!
To know
I just want to say, maybe I made a lot of mistakes trying to do things correctly. I tried to get off with the right foot. I thought I was walking the line with him. I tried to show up my intentions, but carefully. Because I didn't mean to look desperate. And it's fine. It's fine to be independent, confident and respect other's personal space, especially when a woman gets to know with a man.
But he may have misunderstood it, and now, I don't know what to believe in. Firstly, I don't know very well if I really did the right thing. We've been getting to know to each other, and we used to fit perfectly. I always have been willing to take a new step. Didn't I make myself clear?? Or wasn't it obvious enough?
I tried my best to keep on going with him, even after Holidays. Of course, I kept on attending my own business: work, family, friends, etc. Because I understand we both have our own lives after all. I kept on talking to him, and sending messages, even when he was out for vacations. And everything seemed to be fine, perfect. Even I asked him to meet once he was more freed from his vacations and other stuff. But we couldn't.
He seemed to feel "ignored" (maybe?) and accused me to not take all the chances we supposedly have, and many other confusing, mysterious insinuations that I don't even want to imagine :S Maybe he was a bit confused and tried to make a pause to do another activities or wanted to have some time for himself in order to clarify his own panorama, or maybe he just want to play dumb and tell some "lies" to try me (and that's what I most intuit).
And then I decided to walk away, I told him to do his own anyway, and if he someday wants to keep in touch with each other or something, it would be okay. Anyway, I would carry on with my life and doing my own, and if he wants to be part of it, great. And if not, great too. But his answer was something like this: "It's okay. As long as you send me some message, I will be able to reply you". And that's the most confusing part of this story and a good reason to believe he wasn't sure enough to be away from each other. But sometimes, you need to zoom out a bit to appreciate a work of art.
What I hate most of all of this is, he didn't recognize my intentions and my efforts to create such chances, but he didn't help enough. It's truly painful when you are in a relationship, and you have to do all the work to reach its goal, but the other person doesn't do anything to help. It's hard to feel forced to walk away because you feel that person isn't interested enough, or because of communication issues like these.
As for me, since that happened, I'm trying to keep calm and doing my best to deal with it. I'm really putting the best of me and doing my own, as I promised. But there are days like this, in which I feel anxious, confused, nervous and stressed. It's hard when you want to hear about someone you care about, and you feel you can't do it. I don't know if I should wait a bit longer without talking, or just send him a message to say "hello". But I'm afraid to fuck it all and just make his ego grow. And I'm so sick of stories like this in which I meet someone and such person seems to be interested but finally walks away for NOTHING!!!!! (and that includes past long term relationships as well).
Even in moments like this I feel everything and everyone just disturb me, and I don't know where to run. I feel like screaming, breaking it all, even kicking someone's ass. I really hate when it happens. And I hate feeling so powerless and having to stay still just because I'm a woman and just because he needs to take his own initiative because he's a man, and, just for being a man, he likes to "chase" people. And what about every time I just used to be friendly with other guys until they started to "chase" me, thinking that I was willing to get involved with them? (well, that's really a pain in the arse)
But I feel horrible because everything was misunderstood between us. I never meant to be cold. And I never meant to make him feel less important. But, yes, I have REALLY loved him since the day I met him. And I always was willing to be with him, to include him in my life and live peacefully together. And I really want him to understand this. About forgiving him, maybe I could do it, but no so fast. When you hurt someone, it's hard for that person to forgive and forget it so quickly, and it's much harder for that person to trust again so soon. At least, that's how it works to me, and that's something I want people to know.